consonantberry

Robot Candy/Cocaine

In Prose on May 10, 2012 at 4:07 pm

This story is purely surface value fun -no deeper meanings intended!

I have this pet robot that runs on apples. Right after I first bought him, the little guy absolutely refused to intake the apples I offered him -I think they were too organic-looking or something. I quickly came to worry that he’d starve his circuits to death. One day, in desperation, I wrapped an apple in tinfoil and -to my relief- he sucked it into his intake chute without any prompting whatsoever. I was so elated by this turn of events that I went and wrapped up an other full bushel in aluminium and fed them into his input in rapid succession -I figured to fatten him up while he was consuming.

After the last one disappeared into my robot’s chute, though, he obviously wasn’t satiated and started to spit sparks and pieces of algorithm screeches in the worst tantrum I’d ever seen ejected from a machine’s outputs. I tried to calm him down with a nice program of soothing interface, but to no avail. I finally had to flick the kill switch on the little bugger.

Now, every time I power him back up, he’s rendered defectively manic by insatiable craving for aluminium-wrapped apples; I’m afraid that he’s addicted to them. I bought him on Craigslist, so the warranty is not valid… I really don’t wan’t to scrap him as I can’t afford a new one.  If anyone knows anything about this type of condition, or if anyone has experienced this kind of problem before with their own robots (mine is a model T22A45/33N FarTech), I would very much appreciate some advice.

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